Testing patience and pressing forward.

I knew becoming a mother would be the best thing that has ever happened to me. I also knew that becoming a parent would be the hardest thing I have ever done. This season of my life is bringing me plenty of trials. One that I'm currently facing (and will forever face) is raising a very strong willed child. She is  wonderful, fun-loving, and smart little girl.  Then she has her moments that are full of defiant behaviors and that little attitude comes out that can bring my blood pressure through the roof. This morning was the first time she did something that actually brought me to tears. Thirty minutes into our morning gym visit I see one of the Nursery teachers walking in and immediately my heart sank. They no longer come get me because she is crying because she needs me. I knew this time was different. Trust me I saw it all over this woman's face. As I walk with her back into the playroom I see a momma sitting on the floor with her little blonde headed girl who is in tears and then they precede to tell me that my little girl has scratched this girl in the face and pulled a large chunk of her hair down. I of course gasp in somewhat disbelief that Violet did that and when I look down at this other mother on the floor holding her daughter and what I now see in her hair is a little chunk of blonde hair. I am mortified. I see Violet sitting in the corner by herself (which Im assuming is their version of time out). She looks confused and in my attempt not make any more of a scene , I refrain from the urge to beat my childs rear end in front of tons of people. I wait patiently(embarrassed) for them to bring her to me. I calmly take her over to the little girl and ask her to say I'm sorry which she does. Violet gives her a hug and then wants to resume playing. I am in shock, heartbroken, embarrassed and in the same breath Im wondering what the absolute best way to handle this situation. After I quietly remove my child from the gym doors I immediately bust into tears. I in the middle of my sobbing began to talk to Violet and remind her how we are supposed to share and be easy with other kids and that it hurts mommy when she does things like this. I put her in the car and of course parked across from me is the mom with her children. I walk over and tell her again how sorry I am and she reassures me that it is ok and that this just a stage that they go through and all kids do it at some point and its hard to stay on top of all the kids in a room of tons of kids with 2 workers. Took me hours to not want to bust into tears every time i spoke, but in the quiet that these moments that it left me with. I was able to ask God to continue to show me and teach me how to parent this little one. If you know my child you know how rough she can be. She thinks she is 10feet tall and fears almost nothing. I know its my job to teach her to be calm, and practice patience and give her boundaries without holding her back from doing what God is and will call her to do. What a challenge!It would be much easier to brush it off and pretend like that was a one time thing, but I want to use every opportunity to teach her and show her better choices and unfortunately discipline is a big part of that. I just hope she see's Jesus in it when she is older.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

People raising their babies right.

I heard this on a show and it stuck with me. A constant thing you think about as a parent is am I doing this right?? Should I be doing this? Most always go unanswered. However, I am learning how much easier my decision making is when I spend time in prayer. I may not have the answers and I am so much more confident in my decision making when I know that he is on my side. 

I have my amazing parents to thank for this. When I'm at my lowest or in a time of confusion and chaos,I can hear my sweet mommas voice saying "trust God baby" "he will never leave you or forsake you" I hear verse after verse and specific prayers she repeated to me growing up. This is love. I made my mistakes growing up. Hurt myself, hurt my parents but I was always fed words of encouragement. I was constantly prayed over even when I didn't know. Even at a time of the biggest loss in our life. Losing my brother, my moms first born. I never saw her lose faith. Her faith is constant. Her faith is strong. Her faith is contagious. 

I hope I'm half the mom she is. Every decision I make I pray it is done with the same conviction of knowing I need my Lord and Savior to come first in my decision making. I know I will not be perfect, every decision won't be perfect, but knowing that He has my back and won't fail me I will be able to find peace in that. 

If all else fails I hear the words from my dad saying "well you better get on your knees" :) 

So thanks mom and dad for everything you have done and continue to do for me. For us. 

It's been a minute!

I know I am horrible at keeping up with this blog, but oh well we have been busy. I haven't posted since the beginning of the year and so much has changed. I can't even begin to some up all the things that have gone on over the last eight months.  We have had some good times and some tough times, but overall this year has been tons of fun! Our little Violet has grown so much every week there is something new with her. She is growing so fast that we really can't keep up. She doesn't do anything half paced. Always moving and ready to go "bye-bye" all the time! She is such a joy to be around always keeping me laughing and of course on my toes. It's hard for me to remember she is still just 19 months old. She acts so much older, but we have those moments where I have to check myself and say she is still just baby. Even though there isn't much "baby" about her. I can write all day about how amazing she is, but there will be plenty of time for that later. ;)

As for now, we are busy with summer activities. We are enjoying going to the lake when we can and playing in the pool any chance we can get. School will be starting soon for most children and although we decided to hold Vi back from preschool for another year doesn't mean we won't be doing our own little "learning times" at home. Today I spent most of Violet's nap time working on what our weekly schedule will be like for us starting next week. I did a lot of reading on toddler learning and different preschool curriculums that we can work with. Violet thrives best when we constantly change things up and do things different so i'm sure this schedule will be forever changing but for now I have something we can start with. I will post later about what that schedule will look like.

I don't know if I have said this on here before, but I will say it now.  I am so blessed to be able to stay at home with our little girl. I love being the one that is teaching her all this new stuff and seeing her do all these new things. It never gets old. Staying at home is a sacrifice. My wonderful husband works very hard so that I can stay home. We sacrifice a lot of extra things for ourselves so that we would be a lot easier if I would go back to work, but we both agree that this is more important.

Perry and I are going on our first camping trip this year this weekend. Hopefully, we won't get rained out, but regardless we are going. I'm excited about going because I have never been backpack camping before. Let's face it i've only been tent camping at a state park once that I can even remember. So sad. Perry wants to start hiking the Appalachian Trail in sections this year so we are going to ease me into it by hiking in Bankhead with some of our favorite family members (Nikki & David). I am also going to attempt hammock camping. I will let you know how it goes after this weekend.

For now the little one is waking up. I will post again later!